I used to be holy, and then I became a mom: The mission field of Motherhood

Moms, we're on mission. Not just my fellow FOCUS wives either. All you mamas! Yes, we may be in the United States, or even just in the laundry room for 60% of our lives but we are on mission! While we’re at home with our little ones and we’re confined to the changing table we can still fulfill the Great Commission. The big part of fulfilling the Great Commission is the Universal call to Holiness. Over the last few months I’ve had this lie running through my head:

“I used to be holy, and then I became a mom.”

Meaning I’ve fallen into the trap of comparing my old lifestyle as a radically available, single, college student to my new extremely demanding and constant life as a wife and mother. I used to get up early in the morning so I could make it to the chapel to pray a holy hour in an incense-filled chapel in front of the Blessed Sacrament. I’d pray the Liturgy of the Hours, attend daily Mass without fail and sit around with my friends having deep theological conversations and sharing how the Lord is working in our prayer lives.

But that’s not where I’m at anymore. And I’m finally coming to realize that I probably never will be again because the Lord so generously gave me those wonderful four years to prepare my heart, soul, and sheer will for a life of self-sacrificing mission as a mom. I would compare them to the three years that the disciples followed Jesus in his ministry while he was on earth. And now I’ve been sent out. My life will never be the same as it was then. I’ve been given the tools already and now I must put them to work.

 Some people spend a whole month eating scaly fish soup in Africa, sleeping in hammocks on a riverboat in the Amazon, dangerously close to getting diseases, parasites, and food poisoning; never getting a warm shower or a shower at all- living uncomfortably all the time. And that's so awesome, intense, radical, and holy- and I'm always a little jealous I haven't been able to experience that type of suffering myself on a trip like that. But then I look around and I realize I CAN relate and I do find ways to offer up suffering and hardship. Sometimes I don't get to eat because we just didn't get home for lunch, I don't always get to shower everyday (most moms relate), somehow a little girl finds her way into our bed at night and I wake up sore feeling like I slept on the floor anyway. And yeah, my husband is incredibly busy- but its all for the kingdom!

One day a few weeks ago I was so overwhelmed by my apparent decline in holiness, that I told all of this to Zach. I was so upset with myself and ashamed to be called a missionary. All I kept thinking about was how much I used to pray and was able to be caught up in the Lord all day long. As I was on the verge of tears my wonderful husband looked at me and said: Meghan, you’re living out the mission more than all of us from college. We used to dream of suffering for the Lord and you have given up everything and are living the most self-sacrificial life of all of us.

And that was exactly what I needed to hear. I am right where the Lord needs me, I just need to keep my eyes on Him and offer all these hard moments up for my husband, my family, the mission of FOCUS, and the conversion of the world because one of the most powerful ways we can pray is uniting our suffering with that of our Lord. Jesus calls us to leave everything behind, to take up our cross and follow Him. Why did I think I could get away without picking up a cross?

Holiness isn't about how many hours you can have uninterrupted prayer, or whether or not you make it to daily Mass each day of the week, but rather holiness is doing God's will as best we possibly can and constantly striving for greatness. Maybe for some of us God's will is to pray for hours a day, or read and write all sorts of spiritual literature, but for some of us there may be a few years here and there in our lives when holiness will look a lot simpler. 

So to all the moms out there who struggle to find your path to holiness amidst the diapers, laundry, dishes, and sickness we are constantly surrounded by, remember that we are on mission; a mission to bring our spouses and children closer to the heart of Jesus. And no mission is without hardships. It won’t be like this forever, but for now we can be grateful for the chance to suffer for the good of others and for The Kingdom. So, for now let the laundry, the dishes, and the diapers aid in your sanctification and always be listening for when the Lord is calling you to do more.